Do not attempt if an unqualified shopper...

The Galleria, Houston, Texas

3 million square foot, 375 stores, largest mall in Texas, 7^th largest in US...

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

TIP: When undergoing a challenge of this magnitude the first rule is to pee. Having a full bladder when shopping is not a good idea; it’s distracting and can prevent sound decision making. EXAMPLE I once bought a poncho...

Don’t question it, when embarking on a shopping adventure... relieve yourself.

It’s a weird little place... you walk in and all you can see is Tiffany’s and Chanel and Ralph Lauren and you have to walk at least a mile to see an Urban Outfitters or a Macy’s.

One thing I will say about high end stores is that the sales assistants are an annoyance. You get your own little well dressed stalker in each and every store. There are introductions, there are compliments, there are business cards but nowhere is there peace. They know their shit, but if they know what’s good for them they should stay at least 5 feet away from any British customer. We don’t like to be bothered.

One of the favourite stores in the galleria has got to be Barney’s co-op. A high end department store with a little more youth carrying cool diffusion lines of all our favourite designers. Sad story; when talking to the sales assistants he suggested that I visit Dover Street in London. It’s embarrassing that someone from Texas is telling me to go back to England.

x.